None of us gets to live a life that is constant happiness and ongoing fulfillment. Unfortunately there are tough times, for everyone, as well as good times. If we were to only look at our life in the “now,” and judge everything by what we see today, and make all of our decisions based on this moment, we probably would make very different choices for ourselves. We don’t usually do that, though, and we typically try to look at the big picture when making major decisions.

If you think back through your life and remember a period of time that seemed immensely hard, you may also remember feeling like things were never going to get better, and that your life just “sucked.”  But as we continue living a longer life, and gaining wisdom along the way, we learn that those bad times don’t last, and things do eventually get better.  We also can remember the times in our life when everything was going fantastically and perfect, and we know that doesn’t last forever either.

You may have married your dream partner, found your ideal job, and moved into your “forever” home, and felt like your life was amazing.  But the job may then have not turned out to be as ideal as you planned, and your forever home may have ended up with a foundation problem, and maybe that dream partner didn’t turn out to be such a dream after all.  You then find yourself going through a divorce, unemployed, and living in a less-than-ideal place, and thinking your life really is terrible.  Then, you start to problem-solve, and look for solutions, and start to find better opportunities, and things are mostly good again.  Life works like this.. it ebbs, and flows, and we have ups and downs.  The only thing that is consistent is that change is always happening.

When things start going badly for you, do you start to doubt yourself, or just the events that are happening? When you aren’t happy, do you begin to feel less valuable, less worthwhile, and like you aren’t worth the effort of going on?  None of us wants to ever feel like a burden, and so those times when life gets hard, we may begin to feel like we are costing those around us more than we’re giving to them. If that’s your thought right now, please remember that things do get better, and things always change.  While you may need someone’s help right now, in the future someone will need your help. You may take now and contribute later.

We cannot assign value to our life based on how things are going for us. If you’re here right now, and you’re living your life, you have value and you can contribute something to the world around you.  Just look for ways to do it.  If you feel like your life, in the phase it is in right now, isn’t at all what you want it to be, start working on changing it. Know that the ups and downs are going to come but start creating the “ups” whenever you get the chance.  Get to work, work hard, do the right thing, try to help others, and do everything you can think of to contribute something positive to the world around you.

I cannot assign a value to the bits and pieces of my life because it is the whole of my life that holds the value.

I know people who feel like they hold more value than others, and they seem to think they are the center of everything. The people around them can see this – I’ll call it arrogance – but that doesn’t make it true, and those people around them may disagree with that person’s own sense of value about themselves.  If you think you’re better than everyone else, think again. If you feel that way because you’re doing better than others, then you instead have a responsibility to give back to others, and to contribute to the world around you. If you think you’re better than others because you know more, have more, or simply look better, then you’re looking at those bits and pieces, and you do not understand the real value of life.  If you’re someone who doesn’t feel valued, and you’re comparing yourself to those who think they are better, please know that we all have value, and what we’re able to give back will change, up and down, throughout our lives.

Everyone has value. Life may be harder for some than others, but it doesn’t make their lives less valuable. Life may appear easy for some, but that doesn’t make them more valuable. What is it, to you, that makes a life have value?  Is it what you have, or what you give back? Is it what you’re worth financially, no matter what kind of person you are to others?  Is it your job title, or the size of your house, or is it maybe how you make others feel about themselves in a positive way?  Value is seen differently by everyone, but we need to stop comparing ourselves with others when it comes to our own personal sense of worth.  Let me tell you right now… you are worth it. You are worth every effort you put into yourself, to make yourself a better human being and a better contributor to the world as a whole. You deserve to learn new things, give back, treat others well, and to be shown respect as a human being.

To have value, it’s not what you have or what you get… it is what you give.  Give joy, give respect, give support and encouragement, give your time, give happiness. If you do, you’ll start seeing your own value because you’re living a life worthwhile.