Have you ever felt yourself getting tense, or upset, or just more emotional than usual about something, and realized you were having trouble calming yourself? The solution is simple, but not necessarily easy to remember, especially in the moment of strong emotions. Just breathe.
When we get upset over something our body reacts with adrenaline, just like if we are facing danger. Our brain basically tells the rest of our body that we’re feeling threatened, or extremely anxious, or even just excited, and all of the responses start into motion, physically, to manage that. If it’s a threat, then our body pumps our blood into vital areas of our body so that we can fight or run. If we’re feeling anxious, our body will react with extra energy to manage whatever we’re anxious about. This could look like shaky hands, fast breathing, or tense muscles.
All of the things that are going to work in your body, in order to manage that threat, anxiety, or excitement, are readying us to exert energy. Because of this, the energy is built up, and then needs to be used, which makes us do things like pace, jump up and down, or even scream and yell. In order to maintain control of your situation and yourself, you’ll need to be able to calm yourself so that all of that excess energy doesn’t take over.
Reversing all of the signs – shaking, tense muscles, fast breathing, quickened heartrate, sweating, etc. – will keep you calm, help you think more clearly, and in turn will prepare you to respond better to the situation. Breathing slowly and deeply helps to reverse all of these reactions. We typically breathe fairly shallow, from just the tops of our lungs. But if you’ll purposefully breathe long and deep, trying to fill your lungs completely, and then breathing out try to clear your lungs completely, you’ll start to see the benefits and the effects this has on your in an overall way. Deep, slow breathing slows your heart rate, which will help reduce shaking. Slow, deep breathing will also begin to relax your muscles.
With all of this excess energy stored up and ready to use, it also helps to burn off some of that energy. Exercise, or even pacing, can help to use the energy and calm the body. If you’re feeling anxious, upset, nervous, tense, angry, or threatened, try pacing and breathing slowly and deeply. Use the energy in healthy ways (walking, jump-roping, whatever you enjoy) and learning to really breathe deeply, and slowly, can keep you calm when nothing else may seem to work.
If you’re a parent you’ve probably come close to losing your temper more than once with your children. Let’s face it, parenting is hard work. I’ve heard that you should count to 3 to allow yourself a few seconds to calm down before responding to something, but I would suggest that you use those 3 seconds wisely. Use those 3 seconds to calm yourself by breathing, pacing, walking away from the situation, and reversing all the signs of adrenaline, before acting on your emotions.
In relationships we may find ourselves getting angry during an argument, and we can feel ourselves get more tense, start breathing more quickly, and we can often feel our heart beating rapidly. Just breathe. Take that few moments to breathe deeply and slowly, to reverse the effects that an argument may be having on you.
Before you do something you’re nervous about – giving a speech, taking a test, going to a job interview – just breathe. Take just a few moments to burn off that energy by pacing, breathing slowly and deeply, and even stretching. If you find your voice shaking or your hands trembling, take a minute and focus on those long, deep, slow breaths. Give yourself 30 seconds to just breathe, and to regain control of your physical reactions to the situation.
Breathing deeply also gives your body a lot of necessary elements to stay healthy, so practice this trick and do it the next time you’re feeling a bit anxious. Breathe slowly in.. hold it .. breathe slowly out. Wait a moment, and repeat. Hopefully you’ll be able to see a difference in how you start handling tense situations when you learn this technique.